On this part of the earth, it is August 19 now. 00:00.

Time is rushing me to its peak, and on the way to that top, there are silhouettes on my left and right, portraying everything about this man, whom I will introduce to you all…

oOo

The first thing you will remember about him is his fair complexion. Not pale white, but sort of white-yellowish-brown, resembling the color of the gorgeous sunset. A great mixture of enough exposure to the sun as a man and being at home, thinking and meditating, made his skin so beautiful as if it were touched by someone from the beauty salon every single day.

When he starts to speak, you will instantly realize how deep his understanding is about himself and about how the world revolves around him. He is a man of wisdom. He is clear water that you can reflect on and see your face clearly. Sometimes you feel so beautiful, and yet sometimes you feel so bad. Whenever you feel bad, he is full of an understanding spirit. He is a great Teacher. He is willing to help you walk through the mystery of this universe, help you learn from your mistakes.

He is persistence itself. Don’t try to argue with him, trust me. Once you start, it will take forever. Nonetheless, they are sweet moments, too. Arguing until both of us are running out of words and finally just laughing. Continued by a child-like fighting. Usually, I won. A Tip: Just throw cookies crumbs all over his shirt and his hands. He hates it! Hehe……

He is a man of gentleness and love.

I will not forget the nights when he accompanies me through the hardest time of my journey.

His act of kindness to me, time and time again.

Beautiful flowers he gave to me.

The meaningful moments we have together.

Or simply just the quietness we share when we look at each other’s eyes…

I think about how serene his eyes are…

How soft his lips are when they are touching my cheeks…

How comforting his arms are for me to rest…

And how secure his shoulder is for me to cry on….

Everything is just indescribable. The most beautiful writing can never explain how precious each second I have with him. How my heart is pounding every time I hear his voice, see his face, and touch his fingers.

oOo

You know a piece of him through his writing,

Just as I know a piece of his heart, soul, and mind through our togetherness day by day.

The difference is that, I am –this far- the only one who has this most precious opportunity to be –in the real life- with this man.

The man with the name….. Gie.

oOo

I know that for many reasons and for many other reasons, I can never say to him how I feel about him.

Because of this, thousands of times I have hurt his feeling by trying to ignore him, by trying to act as if he were nothing to me, while deep inside, my heart is aching. I have hurt the man I think about days and nights just to prevent hurting. What a selfish denial.  I am too scared to embrace everything, me and my little box of thought.

I wish everything were easy on me, and yet it is not. I am a woman that is set on a culture and a calling to myself, to destiny, to my Creator. I have chosen this calling, and I will fulfill it with all my being and love.

However, deep down in my heart, I always know that my feeling to this man is a special one. It is deep that whenever I try to describe it with words, I am running into tears, instead. It is rooted that if I try to pull it out, I know it will leave a scar and a big hole. It is so memorable that having to forget it will be absolutely hard. It is so beautiful that I do not want to stain it even just with a desire to own him. It is as simple as what a pure love can be.

oOo

Now the year has passed, and he has accomplished his mission. The Warrior has to go home, take some rest, before continuing his battles. He will be surrounded by beautiful princesses of his life who stand with him all the time, in glory and in sorrows. Just as the world is spinning around me, forcing me to go back to life.

I know I will miss him so much, but interconnectedness always teaches me that he is actually never too far. Whenever my prayer and my thought about him are being sent to the Heaven, at the same time, I know he is fully blessed and safely surrounded by love and happiness.

Life must go on, that is for sure.

But I know I will treasure him and all those moments we’ve had……

in my heart.

oOo

By the way, he always asked me a funny (for me, not for him) question when we meet every day –of course, in the real life-  :  Are you dealova?

A question that I promised I will answer him, exactly today, when he is going to leave.

To him dealova is dedicated

For he is a living inspiration

A magic idea

A creativity

A life full of happiness.

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It is dedicated to you,

J, My naughty Einstein.

Have a safe trip home. Enjoy life to its fullest!

I will see you again, if not in this life, then in eternity.

(of course, I still hope I can see you in Rio de Janeiro, a few years from now,

 just like what I have written J. We’ll take pictures with Coelho, that’s for sure……heehee…)

God bless you…